WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
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