In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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