just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
