Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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