Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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