hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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