every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
