k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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