You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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