I just saw a hot homeless man
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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