??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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