Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Help. Why am I so naked?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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