best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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