At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
