That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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