You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
