whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
