The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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