I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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