It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
