Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
