we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Dignity is for republicans.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
