and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
The struggles of a small town man whore
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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