she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
