Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize
