just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
