you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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