Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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