Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Randomize
