how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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