that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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