Jerry, you need to find god
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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