i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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