I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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