just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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