If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I just got carded by a ten year old.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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