He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Sex in the backyard? Check.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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