I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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