arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
