im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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