do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
