Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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