This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
