apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Randomize
