Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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