Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
My vagina is very pro this idea
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
