Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize