Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
