I heard we made out
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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