I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
