I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
