she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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