You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Randomize
