I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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