Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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