i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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