Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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