My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Randomize