If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
