Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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