Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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